The one-armed man from Norfolk.

Alright?

Today I’m taking you on a swashbuckling adventure off the Spanish coast. It’s going to be a bit like a Jet2 holiday, but without that annoying Jess Glynne song playing on repeat.

This will probably be one of a few newsletters we write about Horatio Nelson. He is - Delia aside - probably the most famous person to hail from Norfolk, and the more I learn about his life, the more Secret Norwich-worthy material I find.

Pour yourself a flagon of rum, dust off that eye patch you used for your Halloween costume and stick on ‘The Pirates of the Caribbean’ soundtrack: We’re off to the Battle of Cape St. Vincent (via Great Yarmouth, obviously).

A Norfolk man.

Horatio Nelson was born in Burnham Thorpe and attended Norwich Grammar School in 1787.

There’s an argument to say Nelson is Britain’s most significant historical figure - he was a decorated hero, paved the way to Britain’s naval domination and had a hand (just the one, mind you) in shaping the British Empire. He gave an eye, an arm and sustained a litany of other illnesses and injuries for King and country.

And like all Norfolk heroes, he had a soft spot for Great Yarmouth - presumably because of its wide array of arcades, candyfloss vendors and the infamous snails at Joyland.

After returning as a hero of the Battle of The Nile, he visited Great Yarmouth and exclaimed to the crowd in Delia let’s be ‘avin’ ya’ fashion, “I am myself a Norfolk man and glory in being so”.

The crowds went wild, unharnessed the horses from his carriage and hauled it themselves to the pub. There, the landlady begged Nelson for permission to rename the pub ‘The Nelson Arms’, to which he replied, “That would be absurd, seeing that I have but one”.

Scenes.

The Battle of Cape St. Vincent.

One of Nelson’s most famous adventures was the part he played in the Battle of Cape St. Vincent against the Spanish. It’s the kind of scene you see in movies and doubt its veracity on account of its absurdity.

I’m going to give you the highlights here, but if you want a blow-by-blow account, I’ll share a link at the end.

The scene is set. The Spanish have 25 ships of the line (‘ships of the line’ essentially means ships with significant fighting power) and the British have 15. The British aim is to do enough damage in this battle to severely impact the Spanish capabilities at sea.

Classic British underdog story. Except that at that time, there was never a feeling that the British were underdogs when it came to naval scuffles.

At this point, Nelson is a captain. He’s under the command of Admiral Jervis, and his ship is at the back of the line.

To Britain's advantage, the Spanish fleet was split into two groups. The plan is to take the first group out of the battle before engaging the second group.

However, due to some signalling errors (something we’re more used to hearing on a Greater Anglia train), the British mess up their manoeuvre. The result? Both groups of Spanish ships are about to get away.

The city of rebels.

From Boudica to Robert Kett to the Norwich fans swarming the Director’s entrance after full-time on Saturday, Norfolk is a county of rebels.

Nelson rarely makes the rebellion list, but in this moment, facing defeat at the hands of the Spanish fleet, he mounts a now-legendary insurrection.

Seeing that the Spanish are about to escape, having sustained little damage, he makes a move that, if it failed, would see him court martialed and disgraced.

He acts against Admiral Jervis’ orders, breaks line and heads directly into the Spanish fleet. Alone.

Nelson and his men come under fire from as many as 6 Spanish ships (3 of which have 112 guns and one with 130 - Nelson’s ship has 74). It’s carnage, but officers of the Navy were expected to conduct themselves with a level of decorum at all times.

Despite being under fire, cannonballs maiming his crew, splinters flying everywhere, and smoke filling his eyes and lungs, you can imagine Nelson standing on his deck with complete composure, staring down the enemy.

Nelson’s ship, The Captain, is wrecked, and not in a “I’ve just had a big night down Prince of Wales” sort of way. The wheel has been blown to pieces, one of its masts is in the sea, and so Nelson makes a fateful decision: We’re going to board one of these massive Spanish ships.

Yelling “Westminster Abbey or Glorious Victory”, he jumped from his ship to the Spanish ship, where furious fighting broke out. Against the odds, his crew secure the deck and takes possession of the ship.

Even more scenes.

The ultimate prize.

Only, it doesn’t end there. Musket fire starts to rain down on Nelson’s men from a second Spanish ship. This second ship had run foul of Nelson’s new possession during an engagement with another British ship. So what does Nelson do?

He orders his crew to board the second ship and take that one too. They do just that.

It’s worth noting that it was rare to board ships and take them as prizes during naval battles - they were incredibly expensive to build, so capturing one really was a prize. Taking two by jumping from one to the other was Herculean.

This effort from Nelson and his men meant the Spanish could not escape. The British ended up winning the battle. Here are the stats:

• British: 73 killed and 227 wounded

• Spanish: 430 killed, 856 wounded, 3,000 captured, four ships of the line captured

Black with smoke and his uniform in shreds, Nelson was received by Admiral Jervis:

"The Admiral embraced me, said he could not sufficiently thank me, and used every kind expression which could not fail to make me happy."

Norfolk boys: not just notoriously handsome, but war heroes too.

Incidentally, the admiral commanding the Spanish that day was José Córdoba. And the player commanding Norwich’s backline for much of this season? José Córdoba. Coincidence? I’ll let you decide.

See you next week,

Secret Norwich

P.S. You can read the full account here.